New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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