omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
