Me too!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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