the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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