does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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