I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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