Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
