Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
