she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
