Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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