You made me cry and you don't even care
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
