By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
