I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
