I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
