i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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