I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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