His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
