i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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