This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
