good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
