sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize