It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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