just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
