And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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