I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize