Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
