i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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