nut hugger
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
