It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
