I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
