question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
