my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
are you so shy because you have an std?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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