I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
