I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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