he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
