The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
