I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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