1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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