I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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