So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize