How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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