So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
