we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
