I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
