You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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