Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
