I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
