i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
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