let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
