at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
