There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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