Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
