And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
