Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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