somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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