If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
