Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
