I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
