i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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