Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
